Vroom.

So I am making my drive home late tonight, and I notice a familiar set of headlights in my rearview mirror. Using my uber car sense I think to myself thats a later 944 Turbo, or perhaps an S2.

The car comes up along side me. It's got the S2 wheels; I know this because I have the Turbo wheels. So it's a 944 S2. Nice car. It's also a Cabrio, which I then say to myself It must be a somewhat rare 1992ish S2.

At the next light we are beside each other, he's in the 'left' left turn lane, to make a U turn, I'm in the 'right' left turn lane to actually turn left. The S2 is shiney. A really nice car. Needless to say the roof is down. It is occupied by two twenty something males with collar shirts and gelled back hair. It's obvious this car exists solely to extend the driver's ego.

The driver pipes up:
"Hey, Nice car"
Wow. This kid is in way over his head. I guess I'll be nice, the light can't last that long...

"Not as nice as yours" I say back

"What year is it?" he says, as if we didn't see that coming

"88 924S" I figured I'd clarify the model just in case

"Mine's a 1992 944S2 Cab-ree-oh-lay" HA! I was right! . . . And Why Did you feel the need to tell me it's a Cab? I'm not blind you idiot. "They only made 2400 of them" Now I am fairly sure that there were fewer of the 1988 924S built, but I'll let that one go.

"Yeah man, I know my Porsches, that's a nice car."

"Yeah, they're all great" the light turns green, and as we pull away he says: "There is no substitution"

I press the gas pedel- Harder.

You God Damn Fudge Packer. If you've got to be a fucking status driver at least get your movie quotes right. It's "There is No Substitute." - "There is No Substitution" sounds like a poorly subtitled Japanese Baseball game. Do us all a favor and sell that car to someone who will know what they have.

I glared out the window as he made his U turn. I saw his tag- "POR5CH3"